Dee

aku tidak tau apa kata yang paling tepat untuk melukiskan apa yang kurasakan saat ini

aku juga tidak tau apa perasaan yang kualami saat ini

rasanya dunia berputar namun aku hanya duduk diam membisu

meratapi kepergianmu, melihat punggungmu semakin bergerak menjauhi relung hatiku

manusia,…penuh keinginan, dan khayalan serta harapan palsu

suatu kali pernah kuinginkan sepotong jawaban pasti untuk sebongkah cinta yang kudendam

begitu jawaban itu sudah kudapat, bukan puas yang kurasa

bukan pula bahagia karena keinginanku sudah meluas dalam dada

sekarang kuharus jalani kehidupan ini, menembus batas-batas cinta yang kupagari

tanpamu ada di sisiku, kuharapkan ketegaran dan kekuatan hatiku agar tak jatuh tersungkur

setiap saat mengingat apa yang pernah kulalui, semakin kurasa penipuan diri yang kulakukan pada diriku

semakin kumerasa betapa bodohnya hati ini

membohongi dan menjalani segala hampa tiada asa

memupuk harapan yang tak kunjung berbunga

kini lain adanya cintaku, kutahu bahwa inilah saatnya tuk melepas pergi

biarkan kau terbang mengelilingi dunia ini

melihat betapa cantiknya dan penuh warna di sekitar

tiada aku tiada engkau

tiada kita tiada apapun

ketahuilah sayang, kupersembahkan apa yang kumiliki sedasar hatiku yang paling dalam

hanya untukmu,…

biarlah apa yang sisa pada diriku kan kuberi kepada orang yang pasti ada diluar sana

akan mencintaiku seperti aku mencintaimu

betapa egoisnya hati ini….

I used to feel that i shared this world with you.  i will enjoy the view together with you, taste the sweetness and the bitterness together with you.  those days were fun,….and gone….

now, i have to go on and see the rest of the world all alone. 

now that we have to go on our separate ways, i felt cold, lonely, and i miss you so much. but all the things that are planned, never could go on like what planned, isn’t it?

after all the things we’ve been through, i really thank you for all the things, those visions you’ve let me see…

i wished we will get to see what the world had brought us better….

Tak seharusnya kau berpaling dariku
di saat ku harus jauh dari dirimu
karena aku masih mencintaimu
dan yakin diriku hanyalah untukmu

apa yang kurasakan tak seperti kenyataan
berbagi cinta selain diriku
mungkin tak kembali segala rasa yang telah hilang
walau hati kecilmu masih mencintaiku

tak ingin kubertahan meski kadang mendendam
akankah kau bahagia bila cinta tak ada
untuk dirimu lagi

By Marcel

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu
seiring jejak kakiku bergetar
Aku tak terpagut oleh cintamu
Menelusup hariku dengan harapan
Namun kau masih terdiam membisu

Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
Mendekap penuh harapan tuk mencintaimu
Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
Menanti sebuah jawaban tuk memilikimu

Betapa pilunya rindu menusuk jiwaku
Semoga kau tau isi hatiku
Dan seiring waktu yg terus berputar
Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

Jauh diujung sana, kulihat setitik cerah sinar berbentuk pelangi penuh warna

Nan indah melengkung melambangkan cerianya hidup yang penuh warna

Semakin kuberjalan ingin menggapai sebuncah kebahagiaan itu

Semakin pelangi itu bergerak menjauhiku seolah ia bukanlah untukku

Dibalik riang tawa, haruskah kusimpan sedih dan lara hatiku

Kutahu pelangi itu akan selalu bergerak menjauh,

Namun jalan itu tetap kutempuh

Seolah aku merasa bahwa suatu saat nanti pelangi itu akan berada dalam genggamanku

Perasaan itu,….perasaan sedih dan putus asaku itu,

Perasaan melihatmu dikala akan berpisah denganmu,

Semakin kuingin melihatmu, semakin kuingin menggapaimu

Semakin kau berjalan menjauhi diriku

Mengapa tak dapat kutahan saja dan berlari

Mengapa tak bisa kulihat sekelilingku dan melupakanmu

Perasaan ini sudah tak dapat kupendam lagi

Rasa sakit setiap saat mendengar suaramu, melihatmu.

Aku disini mengingat dirimu, menangis tanpa air mata

Bagai bintang tak bersinar, redup tanpa cahaya

Habis sudah perasaanku kau bawa pergi

Cintaku yang terakhir kupersembahkan hanya untuk dirimu seorang

pernahkah terasa bagaimana waktu berjalan begitu lama dan begitu sama?
aku merasakan hal itu pada sebuah penantianku sekarang….
kubuat perjanjian yang paling tolol namun yang paling penting dalam hidupku
kutahu apa jawaban dari penantianku ini, tetapi,…dasar manusia,
manusia bodoh yang tak dapat berbuat hal lain kecuali mendengarkan kata nurani hati
tuk tetap terus menunggu sebuah penantian yang mungkin akan tak pernah usai…

seringkali kudapati diriku bertanya pada diri sendiri,
mengapa ku mencintainya, mengapa kumenantikannya walau kutahu tiada ada ujung…
seberharga itukah bongkah cintaku padanya?
kepingan harga diriku yang kini tercerai berai dihadapanku….

ingin rasanya kubunuh perasaan ini sampai mati, dingin tiada rasa, gelap tiada cerah dan warna.

wahai wanita, janganlah kau menjadi manusia bodoh, penantianmu tiada ada ujung….hanya akan ada goa-goa menuju penderitaan

What are best friends to you…or lets not talk about something wide yet,…what does a word friend means to you?

well, honestly, i don’t know what it means for me….sometimes i felt like i have a best friend, or maybe 2 or maybe 3, but sometimes i just don’t have the feeling or the soul like one who has a best friend…i sure have a lot of friends,…or should i say people i know….

I have 2 closed friends who are closed to me since we grew up, ever since we were in primary….we share a wide different principle and interest, none of us do the same thing,…and sometimes we just can’t get along with each other,…it’s always been 1 who is aginst 2….and vica versa…we don’t get along too much now, 1 of them even became an enemy if you must persist on details….and the other 1,..oh she is always busy with her husband to be,…hardly have time to spare,…we haven’t met for like 3 months alerady,…now can that be announced as best friends? maybe in the past time huh?

and next….i studied in singapore for my secondary school for about 3 1/2 years…i went there with a lot of friends,….there were 6 of them sharing the same big room in a dorm with a fierce guardian looking for us….if you are looking for details, you might want to watch those barracks movies during the war! that’s us!! we have to queue when it’s dinner time, bath time, and even watching television! oh no we can’t get to bring anything electronical besides walkman or discman or hairdryer….from 6 there were only 3 who are closed with me…..it’s not like we went everywhere the four of us…no…..but we did share a lot of things, and we fought too! against my guardian and some other girls in the dorms who used to be very annoying…well so….times past by, we move out from that dorm to another, we got separated the 4 of us, and then the 3 of us get united but the other one stayed with her families, but we do contacted each other, phone calls and stuffs, however we didnt get to see each other much….funny uh? but we are closed, until now,….we mailed, message…and sometimes chat….we are all in different countries now,…note it’s countries that’s different not only the cities….so its been ages that i haven’t seen them….can that also be called best friends?

after singapore, i went back to samarinda, for my high school, and down there we were grouped in 6 girls sometimes to 10 girls, but its the 6 of us who oftenly hang around….we were into deep sorrow and full of joys too…now we are all in different cities, some ore in same cities but i don’t think they met each other that much….and we didn’t really talk freqyuently…there are some that i havent been talking to for ages too….can that be called best friends?

after high school, i went to university and i joined an organization called AIESEC, taking part seriously in there having a lot of friends,…and mainly we were 4….1 guy and 3 girls….we shared a lot of things,…not all are in common..oh sometimes we quarell too….we shared a lot of moments going out of town with only little money, bringing ourselves into 1 and went around and getting wild but no troubles we are hiack on it!….anyway we are working with each other’s own business now,…we didnt get to see the 4 of us all that often…but the 3 of us contact regularly…not that all stuffs i told them in the first place,…i am not the person that really talk directly,…not all the time….most of the time?

besides them in university time, i have another groups too….5 of us,…2 of us are in the same group of that 4 above we were somehow connected with this group too.. we went out a lot but its too much rotten in there,…too much individualis or something,….well im not saying this aint the best group or what…i wont call us a solid group if thats the term for friends now…but thru all problems somehow we managed to still survive we gathered sometime,..without thinking of the problems among us,..we just let it go through….

whoa….some friends i have huh? well i still have a lot of friends outside of them, my housemates in AM5 and also AG 46, we shared a lot of treassury moments too…will tell you bout them in the next,….

this time i juz wanna tell you how much best friends varieted,,,….and do you guys know that on the 8th of june,…its a Best Friends Day!!!

send your friends an e-card, telling them how much you appreciate them for be or not to be a best friends, but for being there in your life,

www.123greetings.com

www.perfectgreetings.com

www.hallmark.com